“I’m very fortunate that I have a sex worker in my life.”
Chances are pretty good that you haven’t heard that confession too often - but I just made it.
The reason I’m so fortunate to have a sex worker in my life is very simple – she was there to help me through a very difficult time.
I always thought I was very good at dealing with stress – it was part of my work environment and when my wife battled cancer I surprised myself and found strength I never knew I had. But she lost.
It’s been 5 years since my wife passed away – the love of my life – 25 incredible years of marriage – the bar was set so high. Friends have tried setting me up, and I appreciate their efforts very much, but I am very content living a single life.
Now I’m not about to be turned out to pasture - I still have a pulse and a very active lifestyle.
One day I noticed an ad on a website and it piqued my interest so I took the first step.
Always believing in the old adage “nothing ventured, nothing gained."
What started as a two-hour massage appointment grew into several more sessions.
Over time a relationship began to develop. A level of trust was built along with mutual respect and boundaries.
We’ve opened up about our lives. I’ve witnessed what an incredibly dedicated mother she is - proudly sharing photos of her children.
Her business savvy would be welcomed in any corporate boardroom...and the passion she puts into a project that she’s developing is inspiring.
Earlier this year I received news that cancer had reared its ugly face again.
My brother's doctor didn’t pull any punches – Bowel Cancer - maybe two months to live.
I stood strong for my wife; this time, however, my knees buckled.
It would only seem logical that I would talk to a close friend about this new stress I was under. But I didn’t. My sex worker friend was the first person I told.
Naturally people would find it very strange that I would confide such tragic news to someone I had only met a few months earlier.
But it was the simple moments of being in her presence and speaking without the need to always touch that helped me deal with the stress.
Intimate connections can be formed in many different ways, but at the center remains a meaningful friendship.
I treasure my close friends, I’m very fortunate to be surrounded by them.
But I’ve found over the years there can be real value in the words that come from someone new…they see the situation through their eyes, they have no baggage, and they have no strings attached to the words they speak. Something that is most appreciated in difficult times.
In fact, it was just a few words that she said which really helped turn things around for me. Would those same words have come from a close friend?
I’ve asked myself that question and the simple answer is “NO."
I’ve never tried to figure out why certain people walk through our lives when they do. Some pass through quickly, others stay...regardless, each one leaves an imprint on our lives.
Is every relationship we encounter conventional? Do they have to be?
Honestly, life would be pretty boring if they were.
I’ve traveled the world for 21 years and yet I know she’s experienced more than I am.
I’ve never known the cold shoulder from someone once they’ve discovered your profession..and I’ve never been put in a position of having children unable to play with their friends because your line of work didn’t fit the “norm."
Yet through it all, she remains gentle and compassionate.
I don’t view this relationship any different from the ones I already have. My friends know that if they needed anything I would be there...and I would do the same for her.
Regardless of her profession she deserves to be treated equally - - and I do...because as the title says:
“It’s More than Just...”