Thursday, September 21, 2017

So You Wanna Be A Slave

The realm of fetish is one seriously diverse world where you can pretty much find anything that tickles your fancy. 

One request I get on a regular basis is to be my personal slave, a slave that will do anything I order, for me, and mostly to me. 

As tempting as the offer is, I find myself politely declining on most occasions. Why? Well let me clarify.

Being a personal slave for many usually comes with the applicant’s pre-conceived notions of what that is, and notions that 99.99 percent of the time don’t coincide with my own. A slave for most means providing sexual gratification to Mistress or Master, and that generally isn’t what I am looking for in a slave.

Being submissive is also a requirement and with intentions to reside with me under my lock and key, and with constant direction on every aspect of daily life. Ah the fantasy, and that’s just what that is, a fantasy, but done right can be seriously satisfying!

I know a lot of folks living a 24/7 lifestyle and others that play for an afternoon, evening, or a few hours here and there.

Personally I prefer a slave that is high functioning in society, thinking, working, living, socializing, eating, breathing……….but knows their place.

Most on the market for a personal slave have a long list of duties along with a check list of attributes to be rigorously and thoroughly checked off. Hopeful, potential slaves don’t realize it’s not all about the sex, and as much as I love a serious muff dive, there are, household chores to be done. Chores like cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming the rugs, wiping the windows, doing the dishes and laundry. Mistress can’t be expected to live in squalor can she? 

What of the utility bills, rent, or mortgage? Money doesn’t grow on trees!

That proverbial “check list” is something everyone has, even the slave, it’s a list that’s very clearly defined before a person goes looking. Aside from having interests in common there is also the delicate subject of whether or not you are each other’s “type” let alone attracted to each other, if that is the direction you are going. 

It’s a subject so delicate that it can seriously offend a person, because for some that are looking for a slave or wishing to be one, the thought is, “if you’re on the market that anyone and everyone should be eager to graciously accept the offer of servitude or command.”

Just as with dating, compatibility is the issue, and does seriously matter for a relationship to happen, let alone a connection. Then there is a little thing called aesthetic ,we all have that certain aesthetic we appreciate and adhere to, and it’s unique to each and everyone of us.

Other items the list includes is the types of interests you both may share, something to ask prior to the interview, if the information is available. You don’t want to begin a new relationship only to discover they are the ones that want to wear the dress and heels when you were expecting a man’s man. 

Make sure it is clearly defined, you may be a masochist, but they may not be the sadist you were hoping for.

What I hope is that you think before you leap and don’t be afraid to ask questions, if it feels right chances are it is, if i doesn’t keep on looking. And folks, please do remind yourselves not to be offended if rejection comes your way.

About the Author

Velvet is widely known for her appearance on the wildly popular documentary series KINK. She is also a woman, a woman who is a transexual advocate, educating folks on the good, the bad, and the ugly of the world of sex toys and adult therapeutical aids, and as an activist, crusades for the rights of others. As an advocate she created the first Fetish Night in Vancouver which ran for 10 years. Life as a fetishist and visual artist led her to sexual activism, recently finishing work with the City of Vancouver Task Force on Sex Work. She recently finished work as a sensitivity facilitator with Living In Community, sits on the advisory of the Canadian Alliance for Sex Work Law Reform and is an active member of the British Columbia Coalition of Experiential Communities. Her website at presents all her current body of work to the public.

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